#they're two sides of the same coin & I absolutely love it

[spacespheal]

Day and Night

(close-ups under read more)

[hextechwreck]

not quite sure how i feel about the framing of this vi vs jinx conflict atm but i will withhold judgement until i see how it all shakes out

[mothymayhem]

I actually never stop thinking about Eclipse and Lunar. I'm constantly at some point or another thinking about how entwined these characters are and the emotional impacts that they have on one another.

For Lunar, Eclipse plays such a vital role in the way he's shaped out to be. He's their creator, the first family they ever had, the first person to hurt and mistreat them. Eclipse had solidified Lunar's place so quickly upon being brought to the living world outside the mindscape. Lunar was Eclipse's brother and that's all he knew at the time, and he loved Eclipse. He knew his brother could be rotten and that he was capable of harm, yet still defended him. Still adamantly stood by his side those first few weeks.

He was willing to hurt and do whatever it was needed to assist his brother, and yea, maybe with a little back sass, but it wasn't hard to see that he cared. That Eclipse's opinion meant so much to him.

I also eat at the knowledge how much Lunar's betrayal affected Eclipse and how much the anger and hurt carries. The snippets of inner turmoil we get when he does things like upset or hurt Lunar. The moments of realization and regret and guilt. (Now obviously I wanna clarify that just cause he felt bad for his actions, does not justify them. Eclipse was still an abuser. His treatment of Lunar was abuse. There is no denying that. This said I continue!)

Lunar's death also felt so much more personal than most other actions than when Eclipse had the star. No, scratch that, Eclipse hunting Lunar down to play an awful game of cat and mouse felt incredibly personal. It truly seemed to be the final get back. Finally a revenge for Lunar's betrayal. Despite Lunar running away, so desperately trying to detach himself from the whole situation that was at hand.

Even after this. Even after Eclipse's death and Lunar's return. They're so impactful on one another. After Ruin brings Eclipse back, Eclipse's first plan is to take and use Lunar as a battery. Then of course the whole arc of Lunar killing Eclipse. The quiet acceptance from Lunar to just, shove it all down. To try and be ok with this. Despite never having a true apology, nothing truly to grasp onto as any form of understanding (that is not the word I'm thinking of but I've been staring at this post for 5 minutes trying to remember the word).

Despite all this aswell! Shoving it down, despite being the thing everyone clearly wants him to do! What clearly the astrals keep suggesting! It still rounds about back to Eclipse. After everything, all the hurt, all the pain of it. After finally feeling some disconnect from his abuser, Eclipse still manages to hurt him in some way! He's still gotta talk to and find a way to accept what had happened!

I can't go on about this for too much longer as I've only been awake for about an hour but hdbdbxhdbhxd- guys --- they're brothers and I love their dynamic and I hope we get more of them in the future. I hope they continue to heal and grow. I hope that bridge that was burnt so long ago can be rebuilt. I hope at some point another they can be friends, maybe even brothers again someday.

[nouearth]

Imagine getting used as a walking fleshlight by Bruce (Bale) and Clark (Corenswet) at the same time. Both high five'ing each other with dark lust filled eyes while Eiffel tower'ing you. Bruce's cock fulls your mouth so well, he then rubs his cock all over your face. Clark's thrusts are the strongest you've ever experienced, his balls slap against you as if they were a force of nature; you're holding onto ass and pulling him deeper inside you while Bruce rams into your throat like it's a fleshlight.

💌 : ugh, anon. my main men! (although i love pattinson just as much, bale just screams... daddy for me.) also, i—for some reason—love it when guys are showcasing douchey behavior when they're fucking, urgh.

for bruce, his cock had never felt so full and warm down your throat before. you could barely take him, but he was constantly peppering you in toe-curling praises so you tried your best to sheathe more of him inside of your mouth because you didn't want to disappoint him, or even clark for that matter.

the thick of his cock pushed all the saliva out of your mouth, drool dripping from either corners of your stretched lips, and as much as bruce loved seeing how much of a mess you'd become, reducing your identity to merely a flesh-light, he would pull his cock out and slide it over your lips to feed the saliva you'd dribbled back into your cock-addicted mouth.

you'd lap him up like you were a fiend for his cock, and bruce recognized that, exploiting your addiction when he'd pull himself out at times to hear you whine—to see your eyes widen with a plea that would drive him mad because they became so glossy. your brows etched with worry and agony as it seemed like he was stripping you away from a necessity to living.

the simple thought that you lived and breathed for his cock turned him on, fed his ego, and then fed yours because only you could make him feel so good like this. he would rub his cock all over your face, slap it across your cheek and nose occasionally, before jerking himself off to the scene of clark fucking you, his balls heavily rolling over your pretty features in midst. he'd then hold your cheeks, rough hands at the underside of your jaw, before he began fucking gloriously into your mouth because he was close. so fucking close.

for clark, the sounds of your gagging and gargling was enough to send him over the edge. with his heightened senses, he could hear every intricate noise that you'd deliciously graced him with; the small gasps you would inhale to recover your breath, only for you to gag and cough on them when bruce shoved his cock back inside of your mouth; the sloppy and wet squelches from the lube dripping from your hole as clark fucked his large cock madly into you; the nasal pitch of the bed creaking, a noisy proof of the men's absolute destruction on your body as they intend to break you.

sex with you was an exception to clark's habitual gentlemanly spirit as you drove him mad, teased him for being a goody two-shoes, for being too vanilla for your liking, and he wanted to prove you wrong. he wanted to prove to you that he could be both sides of the same coin, and if he went far enough, you'd beg for him to be easier on you next time.

he would pull your arms back and hold your two wrists together in one strong grip, allowing the position to contort your body in a way that emphasized the shape of your body. you felt your muscles flex, throb apprehensively because they've never been stretched like this before—stretched past their limits. and clark would maintain this position because he was addicted to seeing how the sweat collected at the dips of your back muscles, then rolled off the hill of your ass when your body struggled uncomfortably to meet his cock.

he was too big for you, much bigger than you'd taken before, and clark would make you remember that. he would instill a sense of fear within you—that you might completely break if he were to completely shove his large cock inside of you if he wasn't kind enough to control himself—restrain himself from filling you to the brim.

and he would also instill a craving within you—one that you'd find yourself thinking about his cock for hours, days, months—because you'll never find someone with a cock, a fuck like him. ramming into you hard yet steady, powerfully yet pacing, large and uncomfortable yet deliciously enthralling as clark would make every stretch soar to your senses, soar to make your throat hollow and dry—at least for the moment before bruce was shoving himself back inside of you. they'd chuckle, sometimes laugh not because you were embarrassing, but because you were so impressive to them that they didn't know how else to react other than with affection and laughter. they'd coo at you, pet at your head, tell you what a good boy you were, and fist bump whenever you deep-throated bruce and/or pushed yourself back into clark until he was balls-deep, until he pressed into a golden spot.

and they'd continue with you for hours, fucking you repeatedly, taking their turns with your mouth and ass, sometimes two cocks in one, and you'd never felt happier than being fucked in this moment. elated when bruce filled your mouth with his own cum; warm and creamy as it sat and spread thick on your tongue—your throat as you swallowed like the good boy you were. then full, when clark came into your ass. he held you close, pressing close to you until you were practically glued to him, and his balls jolted, twitched, and throbbed as he dumped his load in you. you can feel clark's cum seeping deeper into when he doesn't stop fucking into your hole, churning his cum into you until you memorized the shape of his cock, the way his cum spread thick inside of you. then finally leaking when he pulled out to see you push out his thick cum loads on instinct.

hehe, thank you for the imagine, anon! 💗 and now, i'm gonna pretend as if i didn't write all of that and create the illusion that i, in fact, am an innocent man.

[m3r1m4r5u333]

Someone else posted about this earlier and I agree so much, I need to say this too.

No... Eddie doesn't "indulge" Buck!!

Eddie matches his energy.

Eddie actively, eagerly instigates.

Eddie... is there to slap even MORE stupidity on the table!

They are both the instigators, troublemakers. They are equals. They are in sync!

Neither one is the "mature one", just humoring the other, babysitting, indulging.

They're both rearing to go, have fun, enjoy themselves.

When Buck is sad about Chimney missing the party? Suggest taking it to Chimney?

Eddie instantly launches into planning mode, into turning a vague plan into action, suggests everyone take an Uber to the hotel.

How does Buck react? Does he hesitate?

No, Buck immediately thinks this absolutely insane suggestion is a great idea!!

Buck has no key.

Eddie wants to kick in the door!!!

Buck? Happily joins him!!

They are the chaos, together!!!

Neither one is sitting back, indulging - they are a team, a shared (admittedly not super bright) brain.

And I love it!!! They're freaking soulmates, both equally silly, dumb, energetic, into fun, ready to meet the adventure. They're two sides of the same coin, together.

[froggibus]

Rose Quartz - Venture

Pairing: Venture x gn! reader

Genre: fluff, bit of crack, one droplet of angst

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: in which Venture wants to confess their feelings for you, but keeps giving you rocks instead

CW: awkwardness, crushes, kind of unrequited love, mentions of crystals/rocks and their meanings, Venture avoiding their feelings, one (1) argument, aggressive kissing, reader calls Venture "nerd", NOT PROOFREAD

NEW BANNERS!!! IM SO EXCITED!! ive been wanting a more cohesive graphic for my posts rather than just reusing gifs, so I made these and I adore them!! first time writing about Venture and tbh it's a little juvenile but it kinda works with the theme. they're so adorable and i absolutely love them ^.^ (also happy canadian moment that they gave us an interesting canadian hero finally lol)

“Hey! Y/n! Wait up!” Heavy boots trail after Sloan’s voice, prompting you to turn around. 

“What’s up?”

They give you a toothy grin, holding up a hand to pause while they catch their breath. It’s a hot day in Petra, nearly scorching with all of the gear you have on just to enter the dig site. Even standing in the sun is enough to have you panting and sweaty. 

Sloan releases one last heavy breath and closes the last few steps between the two of you. “I, uh, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

They’re so close you can see the sweat shimmering across their brow, smelling that familiar earthy scent of theirs that you’ve thought about for weeks now. The sun beats down overhead and you’re sure they must be boiling under their safety equipment. 

You cock your head to the side, “what is it?”

“I just—I’ve been thinking for a while, you know? And I really thought that maybe—is it really hot out here? I’m really hot.”

You nod in agreement, cupping your hands around your eyes to block out the sun. You were just on your way back to the shuttle to your hotel room when they caught you, and you have little interest in staying in this heat. 

“I should probably get going,” you admit, “it’s boiling and I need to eat.”

Sloan agrees all too quickly. “Yeah, yeah. I—I just wanted to know,” they loose a sigh, “do you want this rock?”

You’re taken aback for only a moment as they reach out a sweaty palm with a jagged pink crystal no bigger than a dollar coin. You reach out and grab it, your fingertips brushing their hand as you do. Sloan doesn’t miss the way you shiver from the contact. 

“It’s pretty, what is it?”

Sloan scratches the back of their neck. “It’s rose quartz, I just thought you might find it pretty or something…”

“It’s beautiful, thank you.” You tuck the rock into your pocket. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah…see you tomorrow.”

Sloan watches as you spin on your heel and slowly disappear into the horizon. As soon as you’re out of eyesight, they let themselves sigh in disappointment and drop to their knees. 

Confessing is much harder than they thought it would be. 

—

You hold the rose quartz the whole shuttle ride to the hotel, rolling the cold stone across your aching palms. It really is a beautiful stone, even if it serves as a physical reminder of your own disappointment. 

You thought, just for a moment, that they might feel the same way as you. That they were going to ask you on a date, at least. But you’ve thought that the past few weeks, and it’s only bred chagrin. 

The cold air of your hotel room doesn’t feel nearly as nice as it should. Your skin still feels sticky, a layer of dust stuck to the sweat from the sweltering sun you spent the day under. But it’s not the sweat or the dust that has you feeling withdrawn—it’s the sight of the stones lining your night table. 

You place the rose quartz at the end of a line of eight stones, admiring them all together. It’s a beautiful array of clear, pink and green stones. Some are smooth—like they’ve already been tumbled—and others are jagged, found raw and expertly cut from the rock they once formed in. 

Your favourite, given to you just a few days ago, was a raw piece of rhodochrosite. Sloan had a big grin when they gave it to you, the stone warm from them holding it in their palm for so long.

You roll the stone in your palm for only a moment before ordering your usual room service, shrugging off your clothes and going to take a shower. The cold water feels amazing on your skin, washing the heat and shame of the day down the drain. For the time you’re in the shower, you hardly even think about Sloan or the collection of rocks starting to accumulate. 

You only get out when your phone buzzes with the usual courtesy notification letting you know the room service cart is on its way up to you. The air conditioning feels much better after showering, chilling the bite of your skin. You dress quickly in pyjamas and get to the door just in time to let in the kind lady with your dinner.

It’s the same woman as the last few nights—an older lady with a dazzling smile that she flashes at you as she crosses the threshold into your room.

“Same as usual?” She prompts while she lays out the dishes on the small table in the corner.

“You know it.”

She finishes laying out your spread, the delicious scent nearly making your mouth water, before grabbing the cart and starting to back out of the room. She pauses just as she gets past your nightstand, her eyes flicking over the array of stones.

“Well, aren’t those pretty.” You smile in agreement, “they are, aren’t they?”

“Lots of love stones,” she says. “Were they gifted to you?”

“Love stones?”

“Yes,” she nods, “like rose quartz, and rhodochrosite. They represent love in certain practices.”

The information is like a slap in the face, leaving you so dazed that you forget to thank the woman as she leaves your room. Love stones? Why would Sloan be giving you love stones?

You’re near frantic as you collect all of the stones into your hand, forgetting your shoes as you burst out of your hotel room and storm down the hall to Sloan’s. You’re not sure if they’re even back from the site yet, or what you’ll say to them when you get to their room—all you’re sure of is that you want to know why they gave you the stones. The real reason.

Sloan is utterly confused when they open their door to see you there, hair wet and dressed in pyjamas with no shoes, holding out a handful of rocks. “Hi?”

“Why did you give these to me?”

Sloan swallows, dark eyes examining the stones clutched in your palm. “I just thought you’d like them.” A lie, a complete and utter lie.

They curse themselves for being such a coward and not confessing sooner—but you’re just so cute, and they like you so much, and they felt so damn awkward trying to tell you they liked you. Except now, with you standing so close to them, water dripping from your hair and rendering your pyjama top near see-thru, they feel much more awkward.

“Just because you thought I’d like them?” You’re breathing hard, eyebrows knit together in confusion, “or because they’re apparently ‘love stones’, whatever that means.”

From the way their mouth hangs open, you know you’ve caught them.

“Listen, I—I—”

You cut them off, “did you know what the meanings were when you gave them to me?”

“Yes,” they sigh defeatedly. “But I thought you knew!”

“Of course I didn’t know!”

Sloan peers down the hall, hoping no one is around to hear your rising voices. “Why don’t you come in?”

“Why? So you can keep leading me in circles, so I can keep wondering why you don’t feel the same way as I do?” The words come out before you can stop them, even the hand you clamp over your mouth doing nothing to keep them in.

Sloan’s shoulders sag. “I wasn’t leading you in circles.”

“Weren’t you?” You shake your head, turning away from them. “You just wanted to hide behind a bunch of rocks forever.”

“Y/n, wait!”

You shake your head, starting to walk away. You don’t get far, as Sloan grabs your shoulder and spins you to face them. You have no time to react as they grab the back of your head and shove your face into theirs.

The second their lips meet yours, all of the built up disappointment from the past few weeks melts away. You relax into their touch, letting their calloused fingers tangle in your hair. They taste citrusy, over just a hint of salt, and electrify you like a shot of tequila.

You pull away breathlessly, looking at them over your lashes. They’re smirking like an idiot, eyes practically sparkling.

“Still think I’m leading you in circles?”

You rest your hand on their waist, pulling them back to you in desperation. “Shut up and kiss me again, nerd.”

overwatch masterlist | masterlist

(if you enjoy content like this, interactions go a long way! comments, likes & rbs are always greatly appreciated ^-^ !!)

[trancylovecraft]

Yandere clay vs bloberta puppington who share the same s/o?

(MORAL OREL) YANDERE! CLAY / BLOBERTA x READER: Headcannons

RECEIPT ✂- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

BARISTA'S NOTE: N/A FANDOM: Moral Orel

Thank you for ordering!

Come again soon!

Ooh, This is gonna be a tough time for you.

Bloberta for a start is an obsessive, Absolutely desperate to the core yandere. She's focused on keeping you with her, Bloberta trying to be a sort of picturesque housewife to try to make you love her.

Clay on the other hand is a manipulative monster, Equally as delusional as his wife but in the worst way. Completely expecting you

These two sharing is kind of like tug of war.

On one side is Bloberta who becomes generally clinically insane when it comes to you, Genuinely unfazed if she has to kill in your name while being lovestruck all the same. She's delusional big time.

Clay on the other is still delusional, But instead of changing himself to fit his delusion like Bloberta, He's forcing you to fit his delusion instead. He's a manipulative monster who would kill for you if needed.

So in some ways, I suppose they're just two sides of the same coin.

At the beginning when they first meet you, I'd assume you'd be just moving into Moralton. Maybe next door or somewhere else in the neighbourhood.

They come over as a welcome party of sorts, Bloberta holding a casserole and Clay with his usual suburban-man smile. Both Orel and Shapey following close with them.

And of course you greet them with a smile and welcome them into your home, Both instantly become rather attracted to you. Maybe it was because of your kind smile, Your warm attitude that most in Moralton seemed to lack.

Bloberta loves you for your kind and demure nature, The one that welcomes her in and makes her feel included in your home. She falls first, Head over heels for sure.

Clay on the other hand falls for the way you play off of him, Your conversation has chemistry refined to the highest degree. Clay sure does fall, But just a little bit slower than Bloberta does.

It would probably go down the same route it would in my previous scenarios, That is if it was only one of them that fell. With how barren communication is in their marriage, None of them know the other's feelings.

Until they find out, That is.

It will NOT turn out well, I'll say that much. Both of them are rather possessive and sharing you isn't exactly the first thing that comes to mind once they get into the world's quietest screaming match.

Even though their beds are separated: Clay sleeps on the couch tonight, And probably for the rest of his life if Bloberta has anything to say about it. Both of them instantly trying to scheme their own ways of getting you over on their side.

Clay himself is a manipulative yandere to the core, Using his influence as Mayor to pull your strings. He's definetly gonna be difficult to manage

Bloberta isn't stupid, Though she may get rather reckless and short-sighted when it comes to you, She knows what she's doing and can get serious when it comes down to it.

Clay would definetly be subtle in getting you to like him, Going for the more long-game approach.

He'd also try to get you drunk and see if any mistakes happen between you and him after that. Of course they're just mistakes, Nothing more! (Do anything shitty and he'll archive it for blackmail)

Clay may also happen to run into you while you're out in the town, Often stopping to make conversation with you. Sometimes he even joins you out on your trips!

When you're in stores, He often offers to pay for whatever you're particularly interested in. You try to decline but he's rather insistent, Clay mostly using this as a chance to make you feel indebt to him.

When you ask about Bloberta, Clay often just brushes past her with a smile. Some people who are visiting/or are unfamiliar with Clay may ask if you two are married, Which you vehemently deny while Clay just stands there with a smug smile.

Bloberta? Subtle? Not compatible. I feel like she would definetly give much bolder hints than Clay would, When you're walking out from church she may or may not leave a lingering hand on your shoulder, One that almost refuses to let go.

She comes over to your house every other day with a tray of baked goods, One's that she's made sure that you'd love (Most definetly by stalking). Bloberta stays over as long as possible, Gossiping about townspeople and most especially Clay!

She's definetly giving off-hand comments about him, Remarking how lacklustre he is in bed, How he has just a tad bit of a drinking problem. Wink wink.

She definetly also insists that you do your shopping together, You know, Girl's day outs and such. Sometimes you even have evening drinks together, Bloberta becoming much more open on her affections with you.

Would also be a victory for her when you off-handedly admit that you like women as well as men. You'd definetly panic afterwards while Bloberta promises that she'll keep it a secret (Inside she's feeling victorious and has something to hold over you if need be.)

Between the two, Bloberta would DEFINETLY use Clay and Stopframe's affair against him. She knows it's happening and she has evidence to prove it.

Clay on the other hand will use Bloberta's attempts at infidelity against her. Both have evidence against each other

Unfortunately they stay together for the sake of appearances and somewhat the kids. While both would rather.. Let the other go, They have no choice but to stay "happily" married.

Imagine their fighting to get much more prominent, Maybe even coming up in public. All in that passive-aggressive tone that they're use to, Just a little more on the latter side.

You are none the wiser, You're just happy with your new house and town that you live in. Everyone is so welcoming here! Ignore the people that may or may not go missing if they slight you, They don't really matter right now.

You ever get into a semi-working, Somewhat willing relationship?

You all being a polyamorous couple has to be kept on the downlow in Moralton, Considering the religious stigma and all. You being mostly introduced as a close family friend when out in public (If you're allowed out, That is.)

You'll be treated very well but will be tossed about like a frisbee. I wouldn't put it past them to make a schedule for you, Like maybe some hours you get Bloberta and others you get Clay.

The two beds that they have? GONE. Get's turned into one big bed so they don't need to schedule what bed you go to every night. Though you will ALWAYS be in the middle, Both of them staring intensely at each other from each side as you as you sleep.

Orel will be need to be told some fake bible teaching by Clay so he won't go telling people he has two mothers. You'll probably be introduced to him as an Aunt, The kind that are really good friends with one of the parents, Not the related kind.

INSANELY POSSESSIVE. Like both of them will be threatened if you even try to leave without a good enough cause. I'd expect Bloberta to guilt trip you while Clay would certainly try to go complete whatever errands you need himself (Or god forbid, Send OREL out to do it.)

Bloberta definetly feels the need to be perfect for you, Her hygiene and fashion skyrocketing. She likes to assist you, Doing whatever she believes a good housewife would do. Your happiness is her utmost importance.

Clay definetly urges you to wear more feminine clothes, Also expecting you to make him a drink when he gets home from his stinkin'-dead-end-job. Though it would be much more toned-down I think, Since Bloberta would always be on your side if he complains.

The only time I ever see them working together would be if there was a threat towards you and their relationship. In this aspect they compliment each other and work with each other's flaws.

Bloberta's general recklessness when it comes to murder is held back by Clay's more logical thought process. And Clay has someone that is willing to get down and dirty, As I'd imagine him to be rather iffy when cleaning bodies.

Either that or if you try to run away, Both Bloberta and clay would be working together like clockwork to get you back. Clay using his influence to fabricate a story while Bloberta would use her social skills to convince the rest of the town of said story.

You could probably get away, That is if you change your name, Do what Veronica should've done and drive up to Seattle. But apart from that it's gonna be real difficult if you stay in Moralton.

Everyone in town would be hounding you about what happened, Either for gossip or general concern for your wellbeing. It'd be hard, The peer pressure would be enough to make anyone crack.

And if you don't relent? Good luck with all that blackmail they collected being let out into the wild. Your reputation

But I'm sure they could make it seem like simple rumours if you come back, Play your part and stay nice. Clay and Bloberta promise that at the very least!

[theastrologylady]

Astrology Observations #2:

Libra moons are some of the kindest people you will ever meet. They have an innate sense of justice and a desire for everyone to be equally happy. They also have this way of existing at peace with who they are and let others be who they are.

Venus in the 11th women are charming and fun - usually sweethearts that love the world. A lot of their friends tend to crush on them though, and the native with this placement can be disappointed to find out some friendships were only based on interest.

I don't like to give "absolute" statements, but I will say, I have never seen an Aquarius Mars with someone that isn't impressively smart/deep. Without mental stimulus, you could look like Brad Pitt that they will have zero interest.

Jupiter in the 8th men = grower not show-er

I'll go more into synastry below, but I have noticed that when two people have almost exactly, or exactly opposing charts in tight orbs (ex: Sun Cancer 23 degrees, Sun in Cap 24 degrees, Mercury 2 degrees Cap, Mercury 0 degrees Cancer), you actually get along so well with that person. They're totally the opposite in many ways, but also exactly the same. 2 sides of the same coin, so different there is no need for a power struggle but somehow still same energy. Love seeing and experiencing these. But it has to be the majority of the chart.

Synastry ~

Placements that cause sexual tension you can cut with a knife:

Mars conjunct/opposite Venus

Eros(433) aspects to Moon or Mars

Pluto aspecting mars

Mars conjunct, opposite Moon

Mars square Neptune

Lilith aspecting Sun, Venus, Neptune

5th house overlays

Mars in the 7th house overlay

Placements of pure love and appreciation:

Saturn conjunct or trine Sun or Moon

Amor(1221) aspecting Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars, Asc

Moon or Venus trine, sextile pluto

Moon conjunct or trine Venus

Venus aspecting Neptune

Juno aspecting Sun, Venus, Neptune

Moon in the 7th house overlay

The "I feel like I've known you my whole life" placements:

Mercury mutually aspecting Sun

Asc trine, conjunct sextile Asc

Moon sextile, trine conjunct moon

4th house overlays

12th house Moon overlays

Mercury trine, sextile Jupiter

Venus opposite Venus

Asc conjunct Moon

Chiron trine, sextile, conjunct moon

[bloedewir]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard

There's some post-game thoughts I can mark as spoiler ones. Read only if you finished the game.

I love the game. Really. The grand finale was magnificent, the main plot idea is painfully touching and I adore the heavy weight of sorrow I bear after I finished the game. The best kind of bittersweet grief of possible.

However it doesn't mean the game is flawless. There's some stuff I didn't get at all.

Why there's no option to ask Solas about the Forgotten Ones? Like, hello, you have an encyclopedia of elven lore in your head, can't you ask a few optional questions about weird ancient guy you've met during the journey? Nadas Dirthalen? (Or it's because da5 is going to be about new dwarven and/or qunari lore and Forgotten Ones/Executors?)

You also can't say anything about the murals.. which is kinda strange. Why didn't Rook comment those mind-blowing revelations? For Harding, at least?

Evanuris. Solas' story is beautifully written, Mythal' story was also revealed more than before (even if she's in all 4 games) so we get to know her better. But Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain? Fine, forget other evanuris.. but the spectacular duo? Spirits and demons are kinda the same, like two sides of a coin. Solas is Wisdom and Pride, Mythal is Benevolence and Retribution (as Morrigan said). Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain are just.. bad? They're blighted and corrupted now but what about the past? Where's the duality of their personalities? No chance for redemption now because they don't want or need it, I get the idea, but the story itself? I wish there would be more about them. We do have something on Ghilan'nain tho, like: she created hallas but can't create them any longer and she has a full control over the Blight as if it's modeling clay (+ some Bellara' thoughts on a matter of "navigation" and "healing" and path Ghilan'nain chose for the People). But Elgar'nan? He likes tyranny. And he still had his hair. Uhm.. ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠∵⁠ ⁠)⁠┌

Romances. Can't say much because I didn't try all of them but Neve's and Lucanis'.. uhm. It doesn't feel like a written romance, y'know? Just a bonus lines so you doesn't have to feel lonely or whatever. Characters are on their own and don't have connection with Rook till the very end. There's no impact and Rook is, ironically, just an enjoyable side benefit™ but nothing more. Comparing to datv romance situation solavellan romance is hot as hell and full of content. And it says a lot.

Inquisitor. I do like how their absence was explained... yet Lavellan was robbed. I don't want to see a cringe Fade therapy session with Solas telling his tragic lovestory to a random stranger (Rook) and whining about just how much he misses his gorgeous wife (and I'm solavellan). But adding a few tiny details? The bare minimum: take the dai tarot card and place it on the wall in a music room. That already could've been much better. (mods mods mods 🤞🤞🤞).

Dialogue timing and triggers. I suspect dialogues are cool but I can't know for sure. In my first playthrough I didn't even know Davrin and Lucanis are not a big fans of each other before the Weisshaupt quest because I didn't hear it. DATV locations are much smaller than it was in DAI, so you just don't get the chance to hear those dialogues unless you find a trigger point and just stay there waiting to play all lines.

Some of that is not a tragedy and, theoretically, could be improved by magnificent people creating mods. But sometimes datv seems kinda unfinished like there's a missing puzzle pieces as if content was cut out with no replacement.

Despite some questionable moments and a bit of criticism I love this game regardless. It's dark and atmospheric, absolutely beautiful and mesmerizing. And analysis of Regret? Choices and consequences, acceptance, struggling, desperation, guilt..? The work Bioware did deserves to be highly appreciated. The final left me in tears, sobbing and grieving, and heartbroken - that's all I ever wanted of Dragon Age 💜

[itwillallbeokay]

Good morning folks I crave violence this morning so I'll say it....I dislike Satoru and Suguru together. Individually, they're great characters. I love Satoru. A lot. Gege did one singular thing right and it's the creation of this man. And this is where I stop praising that one eyed cat.

It's so bizarre to me how Shoko was treated by them, like a third wheel when Geto hadn't yet defected, and then completely dropped and forgotten. Yes I get that Satoru and Suguru were like two halves of the same whole/two sides of the same coin/parallels (even here I'd have to say that those concepts weren't executed that well, but that's another can of worms). I guess it does say more about Gege and his views on women, but I have no idea why he wrote them to be so meh about Shoko.

And about her, Gege absolutely dropped the ball. Yes she was different from those two because she was a medic. But why do you have to write her to be a part of a trio and then....not have her be the part of the trio? Call me homophobic, I don't care, I absolutely hate how Gege treated Satoru in all his relationships with everyone, except his students. I hate relationships in media where a woman is part of a trio and she's consistently sidelined just for the sake of the relationship between the two men. Satoru and Suguru can be best friends, lovers, etc. whatever you want them to be without the part where Shoko is practically left out of everything. You can have a best friend and love your other friends dearly.

[cha-melodius]

Top Five Favorite Things To Write

I'm going to slowly try to catch up on tag games and asks from the last... however long ago lol, now that I'm back from a work/vacation trip. I was tagged by @justabigoldnerd and @pippinoftheshire sometime last week I think, the game is self-explanatory. I did have to think about this one, and I chose to go more on the specific side of things for most of these.

Feelings realizations/love confessions under dire circumstances. I feel like these are two sides of the same coin. Dire peril making someone realize how much they care about someone is my shit, and I love a good anguished love confession. Even better, make it while someone is dying. 😂

Antagonistic flirty banter. I could just put 'banter' here, because I do love to write it in all it's forms, but I especially love the flirty antagonism that comes when two people are clearly attracted to each other but desperately fighting it.

Action sequences (most of the time). This is one I think I'm good at writing, and I do enjoy writing them the majority of the time. Sometimes I get one where I have to just get through it. The action sequences in Body and Soul(mate) were supremely fun to write.

Mutual pining/'not actually unrequited love'. I love when they're both quietly pining but they (or circumstances) won't let themselves have what they both so desperately want.

Tender wound care. God, the 'gently taking care of the other's wound' is my crack. The vulnerability. The suppressed feelings fighting their way to the surface. The putting of hands on bare skin. Caretaking in general I love, but especially this sub-category.

[honorable mention bc I started looking through my fics and couldn't not include this one] Food as a metaphor for love. There's something about one character cooking for the other that is just the absolute best. Especially (almost exclusively, tbh), before they get together, and all those bottled up feelings have to come out somehow.

Tagging some folks under the cut, but also leaving an open tag if you see this and want to play!

@kiwiana-writes, @orchidscript, @loki-is-my-kink-awakening @cricketnationrise, @leaves-of-laurelin

@rmd-writes, @welcometololaland, @three-drink-amy, @14carrotghoul, @firenati0n

@eusuntgratie, @sparklepocalypse, @blueeyedgrlwrites, @getmehighonmagic, @porcelainmortal

@iboatedhere, @indestructibleheart, @myheartalivewrites. @ninzied, @wordsofhoneydew

@onthewaytosomewhere, @suseagull04, @faketrex, @lilythesilly, @thesleepyskipper

@mirilyawrites, @bitbybitwrites, @anincompletelist, @read-and-write-, @happiness-of-the-pursuit

[lampochkaart]

1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 18, 19 and 20 for Kokichi for the character ask??? (Sorry if that's too many haha)

Woah, so many! Okay, okay, I don't mind👀

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

I love him so much!! I really love how complex he is, how incredible charismatic and fun he is, how fucking smart he is... And I also love how flawed and biased he is. And how cynical and stubborn he is.

I absolutely LOVE the characters that are right and wrong at the same time. Kokichi often says something that is technically right, but at the same time his judgement is very flawed so it's impossible to completely agree with him. Or he's trying to do something good but the way he's doing it is... not great. Or has a good intentions but is being a complete asshole about it.

Like, for example, the situation with Maki. Yes, it's a good thing that he warned everyone about an assassin since they're in a killing game. But also he was trying to separate her from the group and kept needling her even when she wasn't showing any agression to others (and also she had plenty oportunities to kill, but made no move to do it). Only willing to see her as a threat.

And, of course, he's also a very tragic character. What's even worse is that most of it is self inflicted. He isolates, he turns people against himself, he cuts off every possible friendly connection he had. He spends so much time investigating, coming up with plans. And dies in a horrible painful way for the sake of a plan. The plan that didn't work. And he lied to such an extent that people doubted even the sincerity of his last words. Absolutely soul crushing (and body crushing SORRY)

10/10 angst, my heart is in pieces💔

He's both funny and entertaining and also very tragic and I love him for it

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Hmm... Hard to only choose one

Probably his insane acting abilities. How much he's able to control his emotions, how fast can he switch from one to another. How he's able to keep his face no matter how he feels

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Difficult question, because I really like him. Even (especially) with his flaws

Uhhh... His bad CGs maybe? It's more of a problem with V3 in general (although some CGs from other games also have problems). But I'm just thinking about those ones from after trial 4 and they... look very weird. It might be becuase V3's production was rushed, but still

Other that that it's what I'm talking about in 19th question

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I'm gonna answer these two questions in a different ask since it would probably be pretty long answer and this post is already long enough

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Oh, I'll take this as an invitation to ramble about Kokichi and Kaito!! >:]

I think Kaito and Kokichi's relationship is probably the most interesting in the game. They are polar opposites. They are two sides of the same coin. The are narrative foils.

It's so facinating to see their opposite ideologies clash. Kaito is an idealistic optimist, who wants to play the role of a hero, who values emotions over logic, who's willing to believe at someone simply because he wants to. Kokichi is a cynical pessimist, who likes playing the villain, who values logic over emotion, and who would rather lie, than let people get close to him.

Because of that they constantly get into arguements. And they're totally baffled by each other. Before they never met anyone like that, probably haven't even considered people like this real. How could someone be so cynical and distrusting? How could someone be so naive and trusting? They just can't understand each other's point of view because it's so different from their own. And that's just so fun to watch

But at the same time... They are very similar. Both of them are liars. Both of them are upholding an image, presenting themselves stronger than they are. Both are social, like to be around people. Both like to have fun. Both like to tell crazy stories. Both sometimes act "immature".

And also I like this little fact that a lot of Kaito's loved items are Kokichi's liked items and a lot of Kokichi's loved items are Kaito's liked items. So they even have a lot of shared interests!

It's very entertaining to watch them get into conflicts with each other. And it's because of all their antagonism throughout the game, that it's so cool to see them work together in Ch.5.

They're forced in a fucked up hopeless situation and they do their best to make the most use of it. They have a common goal: to end the killing game. So they put aside their differences and work together. They see each other in their most vulnerable moments. They hate it, but there's no way to avoid it. They put their trust in eachother. They switch roles. But at the same time the roles don't change. Kaito becomes a liar (but he was always one). Kokichi becomes a martyr (but he was always going to do that).

I love 5th case because it's not a murder out of malice, not a murder to get our and not an accident. It's an act of trust. They both put trust in each other. Even though they were pretty much enemies for a good part of the game! They both know they're dying. They both know that there's a high risk of the plan failing. But they still choose to do it. For a small chance of success. For a small chance of a happy ending. Not for themselves, but for their friends.

In my opinion Kaito and Kokichi have one of the most interesting relationships in DR. And I firmly believe that to understand one of them, you have to understand the other. Only then it's possible to see the full picture.

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

Kokichi's relationship with Kiibo. He's just constantly picking on him for no reason. The bit quickly becomes too repetetive and just unnecessary mean. Also to me it feels that a lot of things Kokichi does should have some kind of meaning behind them (sometimes even several layers of meaning). So I would've kinda expected that since Kokichi's doing this so persistently, he's trying to do something. Like maybe he's somehow trying to push Kiibo to accept his unique abilities and powers. And while that maaaybe kinda can be interpreted like Kokichi is doing it in the most weird awkward way possible. But still, it's a pretty big stretch. Without any actual payoff it's just Kokichi being mean to Kiibo and that's it. Just bullying the poor robot who wants to be treated normally

They could be friends if Kokichi was nicer to Kiibo. And I would really like them to be friends...

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

GONTA!!!

Kokichi's friendship with Gonta is so so important to me!!

I don't know, I just think it would be so nice if Kokichi would hang out with Gonta and listen to him talk about bugs even though he hates bugs. And if Gonta would participate in Kokichi's pranks. I just like to think they would have fun together. They could've been such an cool duo if they weren't in a shitty stressful situation.

I like Kokichi being friends with Miu and potentially with Rantaro and with Kaito, but Kokichi's friendship with Gonta holds a special place in my heart<3

Thank you for the ask!!<333

[drieddpetals]

(warning: literary analysis ahead) i know i'm not the first person by far to say this, but there are so many similarities between kaz and wylan in six of crows and ESPECIALLY crooked kingdom.

there's obviously the big one of both of them having a re-birth type experience in the harbor, but that's not where the similarity stops. during my ck reread, i noticed that the reason kaz and wylan are in the harbor in the first place is because a father-like figure.

pekka rollins was a father-like figure to both kaz and jordie, and the book says this. the rietveld boys had just lost their father, and one of the big reasons pekka was able to scam jordie and kaz so well is because he provided them with a comforting and parental like space. kaz ofc eventually ends up in the harbor, and it can all be traced back to pekka rollins.

wylan has his rebirth in the harbor due to his father. the connection is more direct with his, but even then there are middle men and other things involved. but again, it can all be traced back to his father.

going off this thought, they both lost a close family member due to a father figure.

another big similarity i found that i feel like i haven't seen anyone talk about his what kaz and wylan are both motivated by: revenge.

wylan does not start off the books being motivated by revenge. he ends up in the barrel and with the crows out of a desperation to both hide from his father and because he genuinely has no where else to go. later on in ck, after wylan finds his mother at saint hilde, the book very clearly states that his motivation changes. at the begining of chapter 31, there's a scene where wylan is staring at himself in the mirror. there are lines that say, "What am I doing here? But he knew the answer. Only he could see his father punished for what he'd done. Only he could see his mother freed." which drives me INSANE!! because it's a DIRECT PARELLEL to things kaz says/feels about jordie!! in the chapter right before that (30) there's a line that says, "He'd found his way to shore, devoted himself to the vengeance he and his brother were owed." (there are other and better lines that reference wylan's "only he could *take revenge*" line, but this is just the closest one that comes to mind)

there are differences between their motives—you could say that kaz's revenge motive is more direct and violent—but there's also the fact that we see both kaz and wylan get their revenge in the book.

both kaz and wylan want revenge for one of their family members, and themselves, from what a father figure in their life has done.

they've also both been kidnapped by jan/held in captivity by him. i know this happens to inej too, but i think it's important that one of the first scenes we see with kaz is him negotiating with jan after being captured by him, and then towards the very end of the series, we (very simplified and on the surface) see the same thing happening to wylan. i know the two jan captivity scenes with kaz and wylan are very different, but i think the basic similarity of these scenes really attest to how far wylan has come and how much he's been assimilated into the crows.

there's also of course the part where wylan's expression is said to be something that looks kaz-like, which i feel also shows how far he's come and how he's truely developed into a crow.

in conclusion, as others have said, they truely are two sides of the same coin. they're so different but so alike, and i absolutely love how leigh bardugo was able to directly juxstapose wylan and kaz when they're so different on the surface.

[a-killer-obsession]

Some thoughts on the female crewmembers of the Kid Pirates? How do they interact with a big balls guy like Kid? 😅 I mean I see him threating women more disrespectful with a lot of ass grabbing 🤪

I honestly think Kid treats the ladies the exact same way he treats the men. In saying that: the kid pirates need a HR for sexual harassment from kid. He probably gets smacked a lot.

I do have a lot of personal headcanons though for what the girls are like! Behold:

☠️Kid Pirate Female Headcanons☠️

SFW under the cut 😊

Also including what I think their weapons would be!

Dive

I can never decide if she's a kid, or if she's just a short adult. The heels and fishnets make me lean towards adult, but then again her rolemodels for her fashion is the other kid pirates so she might not even realise how provocative those clothing items are. Either way, shes a fucking gremlin. Anger issues to boot but also so very happy go lucky, her mood can flip like a coin. We've seen how excited she gets for battle, I think she love love loves fighting. Shes a nuisance but everyone loves her. Has a massive stuffed animal collection (regardless of what her age really is)

Weapon: teeth

Hobbies: getting into mischief, swimming

House

Little old lady who is sick of everyone's shit. And by old I mean like, late fourties, early fifties perhaps. Ship doctor, but in a witch doctor sort of way. Big fan of dr kureha for sure! Has that same flippant, usually drunk on the job sort of personality. Everyone loves her though, shes the matriarch of the crew, and the commanders always ask her for advice. I headcanon she's related to Heat, perhaps his aunty. I like to think it was her that stitched up his Glasgow smile. She probably didn't want to be a pirate, but as the oldest she probably knew better than everyone what a shit show their home island was. Perhaps after all that gang violence maybe Heat is the only family she has left, so she naturally followed him out to sea.

Weapon: stays out of fights, but keeps a pistol on her just in case

Hobbies: collecting vintage medical journals, witchcraft

Hip

Most casual of the girls. Quiet, little bit stoic, bit of a tomboy, probably goes by she/they. Prefers to hang with the more masculine men on the crew, cos she'll gag if she has to listen to Quincy talk about makeup. I actually headcanon she's related to Killer, given they're both tan and blonde, and from the same island (probably, at least I headcanon all the kid pirates sailed out together), maybe cousins even. Strongest and the best fighter of the girls, everyone uses her like guard dog when they wanna go out. As the guard dog shes usually the one to smack Kid when he gets too handsy with one of the girls. He's a little scared of her tbh.

Weapons: the wiki says she apparently has two swords, i think dual weilding short blades would suit her

Hobbies: electric guitar, fishing (she likes the quiet time to think)

Hop

Bad bitch alert!! She's hot and she knows it! Bit of a stuck up bitch but she has her soft side. Gets along best with Wire. Considered the most stylish on the crew because somehow she makes even plain clothes look good, and everyone always wants her fashion and hair advice. I sort of imagine her to be like Nami, very obsessed with money and shopping, and a big time lesbian. Keeps her nails long and sharp as shit, and has a very impressive collection of knives. Her and Hip are very scary when they work together.

Weapon: wiki says she has a sword. I imagine her having a really delicate, slim sword, like a rapier

Hobbies: designing clothes, collecting vintage jewelry (she has very sticky fingers)

Quincy

Super ditsy tbh, really not suited to being a pirate but shes doing her best, its better than staying in the south blue anyway. Everyone makes fun of her cos she has a big obvious crush on kid, she's convinced shes gonna be queen of the pirates. Kid thinks its cute but shes not really his type, he doesnt mind her fawning though. Turns absolutely psychopathic if someone threatens her sweet kiddo! A real girl's girl, she loves anything cute and pink and fluffy, like just so very stereotypically girlypop

Weapon: usually kept away from fights, but like in Wavelengths I'd like to see her use that big chain of beads around her waist like a weapon

Hobbies: makeup and nails, fawning over kid and drawing bad fanart of her and him kissing (yes everyone thinks its concerning, but in an sweet way)

Emma

The quintessential 2010s tumblr scene girl. She reads A LOT of fantasy romance, draws fanart of her favourite book series, she would be a warrior cats girlie for sure. Bit of a scaredy cat and cries when she yells, but shes not afraid to pick up a sword if she has to if its to protect her friends. Really energetic personality though, she's easy to get along with, and she seems to know a little something about everything. Gets along best with Heat.

Weapon: rifle or similar, something long range and slim

Hobbies: reading & drawing

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

Clover's personality/mbti pt.2

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU CAN (THIS AND MY PREVIOUS TWO BLOGS ABOUT CLOVER'S PERSONALITY), I WOULD LOVE MORE PEOPLE TO SEE MY UTY MBTI SERIES (TYSM)

When I said Clover has a more of a subjective than an objective train of thought, I also meant this: stealing money and stealing food is not OK in general but it is OK to them. They sure listen to themselves ↓

They have more of a creative than a mechanical mind (but in order to deal with a lot of the situations they were in, they had to use their head to survive), look at these ↓

they literally linked this situation with a saying (this is so something an intuitive like myself would do)

Clover's thinking function was more prominent in the vengeance route; their thinking is activated to the maximum here instead of empathy, but it's still subjective since they still have that Fi paired up with Te (see my last post). The sad thing about genocide is how Clover loses absolutely everything that made them who they are in pacifist:

empathy gone

warmth gone (even Flowey feels their heart growing colder)

naivety gone

creativity gone

humor gone

Clover has always been kind, so I don't think their auxiliary is Fe. That isn't what needs to develop, or the weakest part about their way of thinking, the one that will shape them into who they were always meant to be.

Because they only felt kindness towards their own race, that's the problem. Clover was judgmental and thought they were doing the right thing, completely disregarding the monsters' side of the situation. Vengenace Clover is the other side of pacifist Clover's coin. This is what I mean ↓

this type of capable of so much kindness but at the same time, if unhealthy, the effect is the complete opposite

That means the Clover in genocide IS the same Clover, but who made difference subjective choices. Whose justice for the children they didn't even know (they, once again, subjectively decided that the children had been innocent, as Martlet pointed out too) was so strong that they refused to see the truth: how both species struggled in this war.

we can see Clover is still "idealistic" but tunnel visioned

"Normal" Clover is open minded, non judgemental and accepting of differences. They can put themselves in others shoes, but in genocide they're the opposite because they gave in to their "dark side" The reason I said they're the same Clover, is that, when I looked at the mbti people gave them, I saw this ↓

I knew right away it can't be right that the same character is a different type when they're at their best and worst. It had to mean that they're neither of the two types people thought

Clover had been introduced to a lot of different problems they had to constantly deal with and get out of the "comfort zone" that are the Ruins. Toriel undoubtedly told them about the kids, and then Clover decided to stay safe rather than jump into adventure. That's what got me thinking: "Their reason for being here has to do with morality: it is Clover who thinks how it's not right for no one to go look for the children." It's more their own values of what's right, than their own truth. They follow the heart more than the head (although the Te becomes developed as the adventure unfolds and they are faced with difficulties), even in geno (see the previous two posts for more about this point)

To learn to solve real world problems using logic, to step up and take charge, "defuse situations" and "mend relationships" by using both thinking and feeling, to become a leader and a hero, that's Clover's end goal.

Look at Clover from their first run (being protected all their life) and Clover from their 100th+ (faces challenges bravely and willingly dies a hero)

↓

↓

↓

From a scared kid to a deputy to a sheriff to a hero.

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛